13 Mistakes Every First-time Parent Makes
You don’t get a “How to raise a baby” book when you become parents for the first time. Yes, parenthood is hard, but it is also one of the most rewarding experiences. Amidst all the excitement and uncertainty, first-time parents often find themselves making common mistakes.
But mistakes aren’t failures; they’re lessons in disguise. Recognizing where others have stumbled can help you avoid the same pitfalls. Parenthood is a process, and you get better as you go. It’s all about learning on the job.
Every challenge helps you grow and figure things out as you go. Here are 13 mistakes that first-time parents often make, so don’t worry; you’re not alone in making them (we’ve all been there, diaper cream in hand).
1. Comparing Their Baby to Other Babies
Want to save this post?
Enter your email below and get it sent straight to your inbox.
Ah yes, comparison; the thief of joy. Another baby in your “Mommy and Me” group is rolling over, and yours just lies there like a happy potato. Just because your baby isn’t acting like them or the babies on those Instagram reels doesn’t mean something’s wrong. Babies are like snowflakes. Each one is unique, and they develop at their own pace.
Remember that developmental milestones are averages, not deadlines, and comparisons can lead to unnecessary anxiety. So, instead of comparing, celebrate the little things your baby does. Maybe they haven’t rolled over yet, but those giggles? Pure gold.
2. Not Sleeping When the Baby Sleeps
Every veteran parent will tell you, “Sleep when the baby sleeps.“ It sounds like sage advice until you’re staring at a sink full of dishes, a mountain of dirty laundry, and the show you’ve been dying to watch. But here’s the thing: sleep is non-negotiable.
When the baby finally sleeps, take the opportunity to get some shut-eye. Even short naps can make all the difference. Besides, the dirty dishes and laundry aren’t going anywhere. The first few months are a marathon, not a sprint, so prioritize your rest whenever you can.
3. Worrying About Every Cry
Babies cry. A lot. Sometimes, they’re hungry, sometimes tired, and sometimes they cry because being a baby is hard work. It’s their primary form of communication. As a first-time parent, it’s easy to panic at every whimper, but that’s not always the case.
Not every cry needs an immediate response. Sometimes, a few moments of crying can help babies learn to self-soothe. Over time, you’ll start to recognize different cries and what they mean.
4. Not Setting Boundaries
From the moment you announce your pregnancy, everyone, including your mom, your neighbor, and the mailman, will have advice for you. They might mean well, and the advice can be helpful, but it can quickly become too much, especially when unasked for.
It’s important to set boundaries early on. If someone wants to hold your newborn when you’re not comfortable, speak up. You’re the parent, and your comfort comes first. Or if it’s a kind old lady in the grocery store who wants to tell you the “right“ way to swaddle, it’s okay to smile politely and say, “Thanks, we’ve got this.”
5. Micromanaging Their Partner
Childbirth is a beautiful yet sensitive time in a couple’s life, and micromanaging can cause resentment, leading to cracks in the relationship. If you’re a first-time parent, you can often feel an overwhelming responsibility to do everything yourself, especially for mothers who might need to ensure everything is done “just right.“
It’s easy to feel you need to oversee everything your partner does, but remember: You’re in this together. They may have a different way of doing things, and that’s okay. As long as the baby is safe and happy, does it really matter?
6. Panicking Over Spit-up
Spit-up is a common occurrence in babies; it happens a lot. It can be alarming for new parents who aren’t used to it, especially when you’re covered in it for the third time in a day. Babies spit up for various reasons, and most of the time, it’s perfectly normal.
If your baby is gaining weight and seems full, there’s usually no cause for concern. Keep plenty of burp cloths on hand, and remind yourself that this phase won’t last forever (even if it feels like it).
7. Ignoring Their Relationship
It’s easy to let your relationship with your partner take a backseat when a baby enters the picture. Suddenly, the time you once had for each other, whether it was watching a movie, having dinner, or just enjoying a lazy Sunday together, seems like a distant memory.
However, maintaining a solid relationship is crucial for both the parents and the child. Make time for each other. Plan the occasional date night, even if it’s at home with a bland pizza and a boring movie. This relationship between partners is the foundation of the family they’re building. Neglecting it can have long-term consequences for both the two of you and your child.
8. Googling Everything
The internet is both a blessing and a curse for new parents. With every question searched comes a flood of information, some good, some not so good. In some situations, some parents find the kryptonite to their confidence: conflicting advice that leaves them more confused than before.
But sometimes, less is more. Choose a few trusted sources for information and avoid falling down the rabbit hole of googling everything. And remember, your gut instinct is often the best guide. There’s no need to read every article or join every parenting forum.
9. Not Planning for Postpartum Recovery
Many first-time parents focus so much on preparing for the baby that they forget about their own postpartum recovery. Whether you’ve had a vaginal birth or a C-section, your body needs time to heal.
Plan ahead by arranging help with household chores, meals, and even just having someone to talk to and to battle the baby blues; hormones are all over the place post-birth. Recovery takes time. Prepare for it just as much as you prepare for the baby.
10. Buying Too Many Baby Clothes
Those tiny baby clothes are irresistible, but most babies grow out of them like weeds in the first year. It’s easy for first-time parents to go overboard and end up with drawers full of outfits. That adorable outfit that makes your baby look like a burrito with a head might only be worn once before it’s outgrown.
Stick to a few essential pieces and avoid buying too much of any one size. Remember, you’ll likely receive clothes as gifts and can always buy more.
11. Doubting Themselves
It’s not rare for a first-time parent to feel unsure, but constant self-doubt can undermine your confidence. Remember that parenting is a learning process, and no one has all the answers. Trust yourself; you’re doing better than you think.
Every parent makes mistakes, but each is an opportunity to learn and grow. Give yourself credit where it’s due, and remember that perfection isn’t the goal. What truly matters is loving and caring for your baby.
12. Forgetting to Enjoy the Moments
The early days of parenthood are a blur of sleepless nights and endless diaper changes. It’s easy to get caught up in the daily grind and forget to savor the small, beautiful moments.
But these moments make it all worth it; the first smile, the way your baby looks at you, those tiny fingers wrapped around yours. The days are long, but the years are short. Don’t get so caught up in the stress that you forget to enjoy the little moments.
Not Taking Enough Photos
When you first bring your baby home, you think you’ll have all the time in the world to capture those precious moments. After all, they’ll be tiny for a while, right? Wrong. The mistake many first-time parents make is not realizing just how quickly these moments pass.
One day, when the sleepless nights are behind you, you’ve forgotten how small their hands were. Photos are your time machine. It’s also important to capture both the good and the messy moments. Lastly, make sure to include yourself in the photos. As parents, especially moms, it’s easy to always be the one behind the camera. But years from now, your baby will also want to see you in those pictures.
Author
