13 Crucial Things Adult Children Need to Hear from Their Parents
As kids, our attachment styles, opinions, and beliefs are shaped by our parents. They define who we grow up to be, or at least the initial influence guiding us.
As adults, the role of a parent becomes no less important. We go to them for advice and opinions and to share our feelings. Unfortunately, not every parent knows how to communicate effectively.
This curated list includes the essential phrases every adult child needs to hear from their parents. These words help develop healthy communication and better relationships with loved ones.
1. “I’m Sorry”
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More often than not, adult children will avoid confronting their parents even if they believe they are in the right. They do this to avoid conflict and end up bottling up negative emotions.
Apologies are key to opening up the conversation options. By apologizing, be it for a misunderstanding or a genuine mistake, parents take accountability and set an example.
2. “Here’s how my day went…”
Your parents can be the best friends you celebrate your successes with and go to for closure after your failures. But only if they’re comfortable talking to you about themselves and their daily activities.
By talking about their day and including mundane details, parents teach adult children not every conversation has to have value. When parents talk about their day, they invite their children to talk about theirs.
3. “I enjoy spending time with you.”
No one wants to be in the company of someone who doesn’t appreciate them. Understanding a person’s love for you can be difficult without reassurance, especially when it comes to parents.
When parents appreciate their children for something as simple as their company, it builds up their self-confidence. Adult children with appreciative parents learn to be content with who they are and not who they must be to warrant appreciation.
4. “I’m really proud of you.”
The happiness we gain from our successes is many times amplified when our parents acknowledge them. As teenagers with the drive to make the most out of youth, a father’s pat on the back could be the only motivator pushing them for success.
Similarly, as we grow up into young adults, problems become much more complicated. In an age where every decision feels like a mistake, a heart-to-heart conversation with your mother on how far you’ve come goes a long way.
5. “That must be difficult for you.”
It’s no secret that making a living in today’s age is objectively more difficult than it was in previous generations. Living expenses are at an all-time high with no matching increase in wages.
Sometimes, all we need to persevere through our problems is acknowledgment of them from the people we trust most. Our parents. When a parent recognizes their child’s hurdles, they better equip them to deal with them. This is because the adult children know they’ll always help in their corner who understands them.
6. “My favorite thing to do is…”
Another way for parents to further their conversation options with their children is to talk about their hobbies. By conversing about their likes and dislikes, parents display a side of them previously unseen.
Teenagers and young adults who lack a solid personality benefit the most from conversations like these. In a way, these discussions compel adult children to start their own hobbies just so they have something to add to the conversation.
7. “Here’s how I would handle this problem…”
Sometimes, all children need is reassurance that their skill set is sufficient to handle problems. However, there are also times when they need specific examples and a step-by-step guide on what to do. It’s up to the parents to categorize situations.
A play-by-play walkthrough on what to do works best for chores, self-care, financial matters, and legal processes. This is one area where experience trumps everything else.
8. “I’d love to go out for…”
A simple way for parents to hang out with their adult children is to mention a place they’d like to go. It could be a park, restaurant, or even a cozy hillside. Communicating the desire to go matters more than the destination.
Oftentimes, parents expect their children to take them out themselves as an obligation. Unfortunately, complex problems and growing up take a toll on young adults. Gentle reminders like these lead to mental clarity for both parties.
9. “I struggle to deal with…”
As we age, we begin looking at our parents as humans and not superheroes who can do no wrong. This can lead to hypothesizing about their weaknesses and criticizing their opinions. It’s easy to forget they are humans when belittling their makes, but it’s difficult to forgive them.
One way for parents to alleviate this issue is to talk about their weaknesses beforehand. By opening up, parents teach their children about what it means to be human. In some extreme cases, it also helps set a more realistic example to strive towards.
10. “My definition of success is…”
It’s common for parents to state their opinions as facts and force their ideals on children. While most parents influence their children for their own supposed betterment, they fail to communicate effectively. To the children, it just looks like anger manifesting through strictness.
When parents clear the air and state their definition of success, it tells the children about their ideals. This can open up a conversation where parents and children discuss their opinions on the matter and hopefully reach a middle ground.
11. “The best advice I have for you is…”
Sometimes, all we need is some solid advice. What better person to ask for advice from than the ones that raised us? All parents need to do is bottle up words of wisdom in a custom-made package according to their children’s weaknesses.
General advice and vague statements rarely work. However, advice tailor-made for someone works wonders. Parents just need to ensure their children are in the market for guidance in the first place.
12. “I enjoy hearing your thoughts and feelings.”
As children grow into young adults, poor communication skills can translate into no communication at all. All parents want is to maintain dialogue with their adult children throughout their life.
When parents appreciate their children’s opinions and feelings, they are more likely to share them. Simple compliments like these manifest into hour-long calls later on in life.
13. “You’re Right.”
During arguments between parents and adult children, there are times when the parents are at fault. Storming off or reacting erratically makes the adult children do the same.
Parents who learn to own up to their mistakes indirectly teach their kids to take accountability. One of the hardest things in life for teenagers and young adults is to admit fault. Seeing their parents do it is a surefire way to inherit the habit.
